We are mandated to bring Marriages, homes and relationships into God's original plan.

Friday, July 3, 2020

FINDING GOD AND YOURSELF BEFORE A PARTNER


FINDING GOD AND YOURSELF BEFORE A PARTNER
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Relationships and the need for companionship are an integral part of life. Yes, two shall become one but it is not two halves becoming one rather its the coming together of two wholesome people uniting as one.

Finding God
Before you can truly find yourself and by extension a partner, there's a relationship you need to begin and commit to first. Finding God first means coming to know and discover yourself in the light of His Word. Seeing yourself as He sees you. His love is the first love you should accept and bask in.

All the hallmarks of a successful relationship should first be seen in your relationship with Him: Love, trust, commitment, passion, sacrifice etc.
This is what makes you a better and well equipped person for that lifetime commitment. That which will come from within and flow to your partner actually comes from Him.

A lot of people are born again but some aren't actively pursuing a tangible relationship with their maker.
You should have a friend, lover, colleague, counselor and such in your partner but you should partake of these in God first. He should be your first port of call. Putting all of that on your partner, outside of the divine connection will not work because no matter how good a person he or she is, the human factor cannot be ignored.
Your relationship will feel light and stress free because you're not directly or indirectly expecting your partner to play a role only God can play for you.

Finding yourself

There are somethings only you can do for yourself, your partner can only support, show care but you are ultimately responsible for yourself. You need to first be whole on your own before seeking a partner else you might just put unnecessary strain on the relationship. Be happy while single. Marriage doesn't bring happiness, you bring happiness into marriage. The happiness in marriage is a responsibility for you both, something you both bring to the table not a constant factor automatically activated by the joining in holy matrimony.

If you're not happy on your own, no one else can make you happy. If you can't spend time on your own and by yourself, you will choke your partner with incessant need. People can be married, yet lonely.
The phrase "I can't live without you" is very popular but ideally, it should be "I don't want to live without you". As a matter of choice, not necessity because as a person, you should be enough for yourself. This is one of the reasons people find it hard to leave abusive relationships because they have built the entire structure of their life around that person.

Putting all of the responsibility for your spiritual, physical or emotional wellbeing, your success or happiness on your partner is a recipe for disaster.
Discover your strengths and weaknesses and how to out them to use, go for your goals. Your partner is there to complement and not to replace you.
Make sure you possess the very values you're hoping to find in your partner.

Finding a partner

The goal is not to find a perfect person but someone whom you can complement each other's strengths and weaknesses and grow together. Compatibility is a key ingredient here. Similarities hold outweigh differences. If y ó ure always at odds with each other over almost every lillte thing then you're really in for it. You should know what you want realistically, and not settle for less. Ultimately, the ideal partner should be someone who is willing to give as good as they get, not someone who would drain the life out of you. Someone who equally knows what they want out of life, out of marriage and are willing to do what they can within reason to get it. I mean, make the lifetime commitments and sacrifices. If you have found God and found yourself, it's only reasonable that you be with someone who has done so too. Actually, you attract what you are so those set of people should come your way.
While God will not choose for us, if we're walking the way of the kingdom, the people we meeelt should also be walking the same way.

Does this person share the same values and belief system with you? Your children should have the same set of core values instilled in them, not different and opposing values from mom and dad.

A relationship with God, a relationship with yourself and a relationship with who you choose as a partner. This is the recipe for a lasting and stable lifetime commitment.

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Written by Pipeloluwa Adebayo

14 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful and sound teaching Thanks to the writer and convener..... I was blessed

    ReplyDelete
  2. God bless you ma for this, more wisdom

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice piece.
    More blessings and inspirations

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow,very straight forward and insightful.
    Relationship with God, relationship with yourself then relationship with your partner.
    Thanks for the teaching

    ReplyDelete
  5. Great piece. I'm blessed, it's so balanced. More grace!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Awesome
    Find God,find yourself then find your partner

    ReplyDelete
  7. Tank u for this piece
    God bless you real good

    ReplyDelete

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