DEVELOPING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH IN-LAWS.
Love is a beautiful thing, so is marriage. But for a couple to enjoy a blissful married life, they must put into cognisance their families especially Parents.
Many young couple make the serious mistake of thinking they got married to their spouse and their spouse alone. That's where the problem begins. In-laws especially Parents affect your relationships in countless ways that leave you grounded for life. What your parents think of your special someone, or the way you handle your relationship/ marriage definitely wreaks havoc on your love life.
You want your marriage to be heaven on Earth without any form of wahala 😆😆 Have a perfect relationship with your Spouse's family. How then can we achieve that?
1. See Them as your family: Yes I know vividly that it might not be easy to achieve, but since you love your spouse enough to get married to him/her, try as much as possible to accept the family also. Making them your own, allows you to overlook their flaws and excesses. For instance, no matter how harsh your biological parent chastise you, you still accept it as an act of love and correction. No matter how wicked or unruly they might be, accept them for who they are and with wisdom deal with them.
2. Avoid Negative Talk: Under no circumstances should you use negative statements or languages on your In-laws. No matter how upset and frustrated you might be. Words spoken can't never be erased. Even if misunderstandings are settled, the negative words still remain.
3. Deal with your misunderstandings privately: No two human can live under the same roof without conflict. However, when misunderstandings between couples occurs, deal with it and solve together without any form of interference (,If possible). Never speak ill of your partner to your family, because that will form a perception in their heart about your spouse.
4. Be intentional: Having healthy relationship with your in-laws sometimes isn't so easy to come by, so you and your spouse must be intentional about creating an avenue to be loved. Care for them, get them gifts, honour and celebrate their special days, be concerned about their welfare. Plan family Hangouts and dinners. Let it be a duty of both the man and woman to speak well of their partner to their families.
5. Show Gratitude: Appreciate the little and big things they do for you. Every one loves to be appreciated. Always thank them for the calls, visits, help etc, it makes them feel honoured.
6. Overlook the Little Irritants: Truth is, sometimes you will be vexed, infact some people from your Spouse's family would intentionally want to stress you out. But it's important you overlook somethings. Forgive easily. Not only do you forgive, you also forget and move on.
7. Don't Feel Obligated to Strain Your Home Relationship to Accommodate Them.: What you wouldn't accept should remain so. Be firm with your decisions and live with it. Your personal relationship with your spouse is however much more important than with in-laws, so any form of action that will affect it should be reviewed by the couples.
However, it's also important that you do not Tolerate Abuse. Trying to develop and maintain an healthy relationship with your in-laws does not mean you accept every form of abuse. Be it emotional or physical. Let's your spouse know about it if there's any, and work out flexible plans to stop it.
Above all, Let God be the Driver of your ship called Marriage. His wisdom does it all. Do you know prayer still works. God has the heart of Kings in his hands.You have tried all you can to achieve that healthy relationship and it's not working out well as planned, go on your kneel, He alone can make all things perfect including our marriage. Shallom
Written by Obademi Oluwatosin Olayemi (July 2020)
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- ▼ July 2020 (11)