We are mandated to bring Marriages, homes and relationships into God's original plan.

Monday, June 8, 2020



The motto of the The Love Transformers says Building Homes and relationships in God's own way, What a nice one because, God is so interested in every aspect of our lives including our marriages and relationships..

We can't leave Him outside of it because He started marriage in the beginning and it is wise for us to acknowledge Him in all.

He said can two walk together except they agree? It's a question which needs answer from us...

  Let's see what makes people feel uncomfortable or feel like giving up in relationships.

Though looking at it they may appear so simple and insignificant,  things that people ignore or they didn't give attention to at all.

You know most people especially we ladies we may look complex but we're simple if only you understand what makes us feel loved. I know the same runs for guys also. Let's see those things together:

1. Expectations:
Everyone have one expectation or the other in a relationship or marriage. Though this increases more in marriage. Maybe you have been in a relationship or marriage for some time now and not happy with what you are seeing, or you have have been in a relationship for almost 6 years and above and your target is that by the second year of your relationship you will be married, or you expect that your intended spouse should have a job by now  and other basic things necessary to start up the family

But things are not working the way you expected them to be. This can make you tired and might make you  feel tired of the relationship or marriage.

This expectations are good and you must not allow them to get you frustrated when they are not not coming but rather you should both trust God and keep your faith strong. I know this is not quite easy but you can trust God for strength.

2. Lack of understanding:
You must get to know that understanding yourselves may not come so easily, you may need to work on yourselves because you are both from different homes and are not cousins or families. Even cousins or brothers and sisters from the same home have a little misunderstanding.

Lack of this understanding has led to to so many break ups, potential couples assuming they weren't meant for each other, That's not true. It's possible for you to understand yourselves and this will happen as you both grow in God or His word. This is not about age, but by looking at your uniqueness and understanding your differences then using it to your very own advantage.

3. Emotional Challenges:
If you have not read the book "ACT OF MARRIAGE by Tim LaHaye" and some of may be you find yourselves always touching yourselves in your relationship.

You can not just resist one another, the kissing, the caressing etc. This, you noticed and you felt like ending or giving up on your relationship. What you need is to grow and then you'll leave that habit in your relationship.

4. Cheating:
When a partner is double dating. This one in no doubt has ended a lot of relationships or marriages because one of the partner is not faithful. It only takes the grace of God to forgive such partner.

3. Secrecy:
When partners do not open up to themselves completely. See, there is nothing to hide. When you say you love your partner it means *"I accept your past and we work on your present together to have a lasting relationship or marriage with you"*. Don't hide anything. You're most free when you expose all to one another but not your physical nakedness as singles wait till marriage.

4. When partners do not yield to corrections:
You hear things like "I corrected him the first time he didn't listen to me, again I did the second time he ignore my corrections. I think he hates me, if he loves me, he will listen to my corrections".

Many times you will hear people say this in a relationship or marriage because he love it when we correct people and then they listen to us. When your partner hates to hear your corrections people may begin to think of ending their relationships or giving up on their relationship or marriage.

5. Third parties:
Some people hates it when their partner involves third parties in their matter. When they are aware of this, they easily give up on their partner saying "you're talking our matter everywhere!". But, this ought not to be.

6. Comparing other relationships with your own relationship:
Many of us learn this from our parents. They love to compare us to other children and this has been sown also in our hearts.

We then have learn to compare our relationship with others. But, remember scriptures says when we compare ourselves with ourselves we are not wise. It's wisdom not to compare your own relationship with others. Yours may even be better than some.

Some people after comparing their relationship or marriage with others they tend to frustrate their partners till they give up on their relationships or marriages. In comparing your relationship or marriage with others, your love begin to die down gradually.

7. Finance:
This one has ended alot of relationships and marriages but understanding in this area matters as you can trust God to help you take steps to increase your finances.

Many give up easily when finances becomes an issue. On your birthday especially ladies, the guy did not buy you cake. He always complain "no money" but no matter how little you can just do something for your partner.

8. Sexual Fulfillment:
For married people, when they don't derive sexual satisfaction they tend to give up on their marriage and they may begin to look outside for their satisfaction.

But, we can help our partners sincerely by telling him or her the key areas that our partner can touch that will make us feel arouse and make us think enjoy our sexual life.

Some couples give up so easily when they feel what they enjoy with their husband or wife during sex is so little and they just wanted more, hence they give up on their marriages.

What to do when you feel like giving up

  1. Be sincere to yourself- acknowledge that you are tired..
  2. Pray about it and open up every area that is making you tired.. Prayer is key... Don't just decide to call it quit when actually you involved God before starting and now you didn't tell Him you're quitting or He didn't instruct you to leave... He's the Alpha let Him be the Omega
  3. Talk about it with your partner in a very respectful manner...Have a determination to make your relationship or marriage work. Sincerely no relationship or marriage is beyond the confines of not working well if only partners will give room to make their relationship or marriage work.
  4. Discuss about it well and both of you should pray well.
  5. Then work on the solutions you both agreed on... It's very important for both of you to agree and see that it's effective...
  6.  Be contented.. Contentment with godliness is a great gain.. This is very very important, you must know that everyone can't be the same, our paths are different, never compare your relationship or marriage with that of your neighbors or friend..
  7.  Always be thankful, seek godly counsels..
  8.  Always hold on to the word of God over the Life of you both..
  9. Never give in to pressures..
  10. Don't take decisions out of pressure and out of God..
  11. Don't get tired of yourselves easily... There was a time I got tired of my partner. Even though I have asked him before if he was ever tired of our relationship. He said no! But, sincerely it got to a time I was because nothing seem working

But, what brought us together was stronger than how tired I was.
I will share a little story about myself..

I remembered a time in my relationship that I was so frustrated and it's not that I don't have suitors better than Him.. In fact there was someone pestering me that if I say yes now, we will get married in two months time.. I was not happy, always angry with when he calls and every words spoken by him is not acceptable...
He notices it and He came over to my place, asked me questions which I said there's nothing wrong with me, He got to know when he saw the way I was behaving then unintentionally I mentioned the guy that was asking me out to him, then he knew where pressures were coming from,
I opened up to him and told him my fears and also by wisdom he helped me out, he took his faults worked on them and me too and the most funny part of it was I had a Dream that the Lord used to reveal his intentions about the situation to me...
I thank God that I was able to obey.. Things became better and I am enjoying my relationship with God in it with us...

Note*** don't ever neglect the place of God in your relationship.. It's the Foundation and the root of all relationships.. Without him no relationship can stand...

I pray that The Lord will keep us and Help us to be sincere to ourselves, help is to be firm in the truth and give us good and Godly homes..
I pray for peace for anyone going through this at this time, I pray that the Lord will help you to know what to do, you will not reject His help and counsel.. And he will help you to be truthful to yourself.. God bless us all in Jesus name. Amen..

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