Our constructions as man and woman are quite different. We all have specific roles to play in marriage.
Marriage is not meant for selfish people. This is because if you're selfish now that you don't have children, you will be more selfish when your children come.
Marriage is a life of commitment which involves giving to one another. When we cannot give to one another, then, we may not have a stable marriage.
Marriage therefore demands so much work from us... both for the husband and the wife. When both husband and wife are consistent givers, they will have what they give.
Giving, here, does not mean money but a life of commitment to one another so much that you keep giving even your life sacrificially to one another.
Let's see carefully the
(1) THE FOUNDATION MAN:
It's important to establish that man is very important in a generation and when God wants to have a generation or a nation, He always meets a man.
The man therefore becomes the foundation for what God has started. Abraham was chosen of God to be the father of many nations. God blessed him and made all that are named after him to be a blessing of whom we are all one!
It's necessary for me make you aware that man is not the top of the family but the bottom of the family as Dr. Myles Munroe said.
You know, while in school, I served in the building committee and I understand some few things about building. There was a time what we built at that time was destroyed by storm but it didn't touch the foundation.
Foundation is the first thing people consider when building a house. This is because it will tell how the building will look. That's why Jesus considered a man first before considering a woman.
It was later that when He saw the foundation, He then illustrates that this foundation needs a building which is the woman.
The foundation holds the house and many times they are not seen. It's not important to boast that you're the head of your family. No! What you need to do is stand in your office as the foundation of that house.
You must ensure that you're deep as a foundation. You go deep in the Lord and in His word. You take your root downward to bear your fruit upward as the foundation of your home.
You need to understand that as the husband and father of your home, you represent Christ. Scriptures say Christ is the Chief cornerstone. The meaning of that is, from the cornerstone the shape of the building is formed.
How deep you are as the foundation will determine how strong your home will be. You determine the shape and the form of your home.
Dr. Myles Munroe said "a society or a nation is as strong as the man in it".
When you as the foundation of the home are strong, your home will be strong.
Many homes collapse today because there are no strong foundations in that home.
This has affected the wife, and the children. Many husbands are now foundations in two different homes. No wonder their homes are not strong.
Even when the man is secretly serving as another foundation in a home. He becomes weak in his own house because he's giving out his strength in another place where his labour is not needed and the effect of that foundation he's building in that place may not be felt.
Many men have destroyed the whole building today because the foundation is not deep enough to contain what the Lord has in mind.
Your hunger and thirst for the Lord and His Word makes your root as the foundation to go deep.
The deeper you go in the Lord the better for your home. You can't compare the foundation of a just a normal house with a house that will take over 100 buildings or stairs.
You can imagine how deep the foundation must be. Your deeper fellowship with God as the husband will make your family to be deeper.
That's why your wife should not always be the one to say "sweetheart, let us pray!” This happens in many homes and this is not good for the husband.
You need to build your home in the word of the Lord as man. Your home depends on you as the foundation
A woman was sharing with me about her house where she's always the one taking the morning devotionals or family altar and when she was not around there was no family altar until she comes.
The availability of the man in home should create a sense of God in the home. Men need to be available to build their homes. Men must become the available man rooting his home in the word of God and prayers.
Man! Stand on your fit; you're the foundation of your home. You'll make your wife have nothing to build on. She may not serve as she ought to when you as the foundation is not taking your position always.
Let"s move on to the building woman
(2) THE BUILDING WOMAN
You know, we must understand that it was after God had the man as the foundation that He looked on the man and said 'Behold, it is not good that this foundation be alone, I'll make an help meet for this foundation.
Here, the role of the woman is well spelt out which is the building woman. That's why the word "woman" means "to build or builder”. The man is not the builder of the home but the woman is.
The man only makes available what the woman can build on and because it is the duty of the man to provide a foundation for a woman to build on, that's why scriptures was clear when it says "a wise woman builds her house..."
EVERY WISE WOMAN BUILDETH HER HOUSE:
but the foolish plucked it down with her hands.
The New Living Translation has it this way...
A wise woman builds her home, but
a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.
In fact, I love the way scriptures says it "EVERY WISE WOMAN..." it tells that women are wise but they are well identified as being wise if only they build their own house.
I am a fan of the scripture especially when it tells about family. When it was to talk to the man in Ephesians, the last verse of chapter 5,
it says "let every one of you in particular(referring to the man) so live HIS WIFE even as himself and the wife see that she reverence HER HUSBAND.
When it comes to homes, scriptures act just too personal with the husband and wife. So, that scripture says every wise woman builds as HER HOUSE. I love that!
It is clear that the building and construction of a good home is a collective responsibility of both the husband the wife.
The man as the foundation gives a form that the woman needs to build on.
Let me build more on why I know that a woman is the builder of the home. The answer again is found in the scriptures
And all the people that were in the gate, and the elders, said, We are witnesses. THE LORD MAKE THE WOMAN that is come into thine house like Rachel and like Leah, WHICH TWO DID BUILD THE HOUSE OF ISRAEL: and do thou worthily in Ephratah, and be famous in Bethlehem:
You noticed it didn't mention men as the builder but women. You noticed two women mentioned there? Rachel and Leah... They didn't just build a home but built a nation and the elders and all of them at the gate witnessed it.
We understand that by the mouth of two or more witnesses a word is made established. The people at the gate and the elders were witnesses to these two women that they built the house of Israel.
You need to ask then, how does a woman build? It's clear from the scriptures. The Bible always have the answer.
Proverbs 24:3 THROUGH WISDOM is an house buildth; and BY UNDERSTANDING it is established:
Proverbs 24:4 And BY KNOWLEDGE shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.
But, I love how Amplified version said it
Proverbs 24: 3 through skillful and godly Wisdom is a house (a life, a home, a family) built, and by understanding it is established [on a sound and good foundation],
Proverbs 24:4 and by knowledge shall its chambers [of every area] be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.
New Living Translation put it this way..
Proverbs 24: 3 A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.
4 Through knowledge its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables.
A woman builds by three things
(a) Through wisdom
(b) Understanding to establish the house
(c) Knowledge that brings riches
A woman must not lack these three things. Remember scriptures says to get wisdom and in all thy getting, get understanding
Proverbs 4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Wisdom is a needful instrument in building a house. That scriptures even said in understanding be men (matured).
As a woman you build by these three: wisdom, understanding and knowledge so that you can build into the patterns of God.
Then, it also appears to me that from that scripture we see that as the woman takes up knowledge, her chambers are filled with all precious and pleasant riches by her building.
I guess no wonder the woman that was mentioned in Proverbs 31, this is what she built her home with because we saw that she was making money by the things she does. I love what that Proverbs 24:4 says
Proverbs 24:4 And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.
The building woman builds her home with her husband and by knowledge shall their chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.
When your husband teaches a word, you should not say it is wrong in the presence of your children or teach another thing before them. You're not building your home wisely. You'll be confusing your children with that.
It's always wrong to have a deep foundation that is meant to bear for instance a sky scrapper and you build on it just a normal house.
You must build correctly, that's why the place of building with wisdom and establishing the home with understanding comes to place so that also by knowledge, riches come into your house.
A home is as good as the man that has his foundation deep in the Lord and His word and a woman who builds her house with understanding, wisdom and then knowledge that brings prosperity to her home.
The definition of a good home becomes the unity of the foundation and what is built on the foundation.
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