9 Rules for Stronger Communication
1. Stick with the issue. Don’t turn an argument into a laundry list of past grievances or a major blowout over whether you still love, want, or trust each other.
2. Use “I” statements. Avoid “you” statements – as in “You never listen to me” or “You’re so selfish.” Try “I” statements – such as “I feel demeaned when...” − to express your own feelings.
3. be direct. If you need a hug, say “I need a hug.”
4. Talk positively. Avoid hopeless comments such as “Here we go again. I can’t take this anymore.” Try instead: “We can get through this together.”
5. Cool down - before you get nasty. Call time-out. Just say you want to take a break – which you’re not leaving the disagreement unresolved. It can also help for partners to agree on a specific time to hammer out an issue.
6. Listen to each other. Repeat your partner’s concern - whether or not you agree with it.
“What you’re saying is that when I need more space, you feel I don’t love you anymore.”
7. Show that you care. Remember that little things mean a lot. Use pet names and ask questions like “How was your day?” “Did you sleep well, sweetie?” Thoughtfulness and politeness create a foundation for intimacy.
8. Admit when you’re wrong. Explain why you acted the way you did. “I’m sorry I lost my temper. I was in a crabby mood because I had a hard day at work. I took it out on you. Please forgive me.”
9. Mind what you say to your partner ; Words are powerful, you can mould your partner by saying the right word to them, don’t tell her she looks horrible in that make up, why not try saying you look sweet Darling but it will be sweeter if you can consider using a light make up. Instead of saying you could be so annoying the way you think and talk, try saying, “you always amazed me dear, at your approach to such issue, why not also look at it this way”.
Words are seeds, if you talk the person to become rebellious, you will reap the fruits of their rebelliousness … if you lift the person up with your words , you will enjoy it, words are spirit, learn to say what you want to see in the relationship not what you detest. I will always say to G.baby, you are the beautiful one that novelist was referring to be yet unborn, I will say beauty is summed up in you. And you see, that’s what I see everyday, she always come out new. Words have creative ability, say to your relationship, this will stand till our last sight on earth; we love each other in grey hairs.